“I always thought I’d …”
This blog got me thinking. So I sent it to Tammy, who shares my take on a lot of things regarding getting on planes and living on islands. I said, there’s something about ‘I always thought I’d …’ attached to anything that has a little bit of sadness in it, even if the person saying it is fundamentally happy. Satisfied. Accomplished. With time galore to do more. We had a chat about it and got nowhere.
Everybody has their ‘I always thought I’d’s – it’s part of having a past. And you can give chase to absolutely everything you want to, run as fast as you can, grab with both hands and hold onto as carefully as you’d like. But you’ll never get everything. You can’t have everything. It’s a rule.
So what do you do? Prioritise? Choose five from a list of hundreds and make them happen no matter what? And if they don’t happen? What then? Precisely what you believed would always fulfill you hasn’t come about. Are you unfulfilled, or richer for trying? Have you hit a dead end, or learnt of twenty more paths you can take?
Have you learnt that what you want, what you’ve worked for, what you’ve always you’d have, isn’t necessarily what you’ll get – and sometimes there is nothing you can do to change that?
Is it depressing or liberating?
I don’t know.